Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
