Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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