And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
