I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
