Already got asked if we're dating
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
did you just send me my own nude
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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