its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
