you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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