I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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