I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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