3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
