I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
