don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
