i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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