We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
