shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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