i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
