there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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