sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my being single is dangerous.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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