So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
