He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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