Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
