we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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