If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
