"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
