he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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