1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
