You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
