So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
