I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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