They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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