I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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