she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
