You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
