We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
