Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
