just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
