great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
