YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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