yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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