so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
