I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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