dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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