Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
