UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
