I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
