There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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