Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
