3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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