We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
