theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the day after is always just damage control
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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