i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize