Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
