Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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