I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
