Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
