I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i've created a new STD.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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