The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
