this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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